Speech contests -For better or for worse

Heart pounding , sweaty palms, frantically trying to remember a 2minute speech off by heart  , 30 pairs of eyes looking at you and a teacher sitting ready to grade you with her assement sheet . Public speaking and class orals . Possibly one of the scariest aspects that a student ever has to face at school. I know for me it was . Now Imagine having to do this  exact same speech in a foreign langauge. A language that you have only been learning for a few years.....

English speech contests   happen throughout  Korea and throughout the year. They usually start at elementary level and go right up to high school. The idea behind them is to give students an oppurtunity to  speak english. The contests usually have a selection of topics that the students can choose from and they then base their speech around that topic. The only rule , you need to memorise the speech off by heart.

When I first came to hear about these contests I was impressed and thought what a wonderful way it is  to encourage the korean students to learn english. However in the past two weeks my perception has changed .

Two weeks  ago  we held  a speech contest at school  in order  to prepare the girls for the real contest which would be held the following week.  I was asked to judge the competition which  I willing agreed  to do. However i was  completely unaware of  what sort of emotional impact it would have on me.

For those of you are are unaware of the korean education system and korean culture  the amount of pressure placed on students to achieve academically and to speak english is huge. What is even more worrying is the amount of pressure that the students place on themselves and it was more evident than ever when I judged the speaking contest.

'I have a dream ' is how her speech began. However this student was so nervous she suddenly froze and couldnt remember the next line. Dead silent for  2minutes.   Unable to deal with the  uncomfortable silence  I asked her what her dream was in her heart and not what she had written down for the speech , hoping that this would make it easier to  for her to speak.  However she was so consumed  by her nerves that she was still unable to verbalise her dream . As the tears started to roll down her cheek i was unable to keep it together and my emotions got the better of me. I went outside with her as I could see she was not coping with the situation and was in need  of a  hug. Ive never felt somebody hug me so tightly in my life. This poor darling sobbed on me. I could feel her sense of relief. Whilst we were outside Io asked her again 'what is your dream '  to that she replied  'To be a Doctor in  Africa ' 

16 years old and this little darling wants to change the world. The speeches that followed  from the other students were nothing but inspiring . From wanting to cure cancer  and flying aeroplanes to finding ways  to stop global warming. These are the dreams of my 16 year old students . Ask a 16 year old  South African what yhey want to do with their life and I doubt you will get the same answer.

Yesterday  I went to watch my students at  the official speaking competition. Once again I could sense their fear . Having flashbacks of the incident  from the school contest I prayed that my girls would be ok and not have to face the embarrasment of forgetting their lines.

Although I am incredibly proud  of my students for  making it to the finals that was not  what I was worried about . What worries me is the message we are sending to these children and  the long term impact that such events can have on a student . What if one of my studentshad  failed the contest yesterday? Not only  are we telling them that their english ability is not good enough  but we  are also indirectly telling them that they will never achieve their dream and that their opinions are irrelevant as they are unable to verbalise them correctly.

For the students who do not pass the contests one can imagine that they  perceive themselves as  failures  and a  failure  at learning the english langauge . So when the next  opportunity arises for them to share their hopes , dreams  and opinions they  are reminded of the time when they were told that their english speaking  ability is not good enough and so the chances of them expressing their dreams and opinions with us again are unlikely. 

What kind of pereperception of the english langauge are we creating for our students ?  I want my students to learn to love the english langauge . I want them to be able to express their dreams and views of the world  with confidence without having to worry about someone grading them for it .   But how can we possibly expect someone to engage and love something when it instils nothing but fear ?

These are thoughts and questions that I have found myself struggling with   over  the past few months . This topic goes way beyond a speech contest and I feel that if we truly want to help Korea to embrace the english langauge then the entire system needs to change.

I believe that  as foreign teachers we have  the ability to help change the system. Can we change it completely ? Unlikely  , but for those short 40minutes that we see each a class we have the power to  turn that dry boring english into something fun. So I challenge myself and all the other teachers out there . Let us help our students to see that english is not something to be feared   but something that will place  them at a  huge advantage and help them to  achieve their dreams in the future.

Korean efficiency

Sunday afternoon and we were on our way back from our five day Jeju adventure  and what do I decide to leave on the bus ? After an 8 hour trip home from jeju  my brain was utter moosh and I just wanted to get home. With only 30minutes to spare until my train departed i rushed of the bus gathered my goods and made my way to the station. Feeling very smug with myself at this point as I had made it to the station on time with all my belongings I reached into my bag to check the time  on my phone only to discover  that it was not there and that I had infact left it on the bus . Now for those of you who are not completely dependant on yor phones I dont expect you to empathise with me . However for those of you  who are as dependant as me you will understand my utter horror when i realised  my baby was currently on a bus somewhere in Daegu and that the probability of me getting it back was rather small.

It's the only item that is constantly attatched to my body. The item that I can rely on to help me in times of trouble and the item that allows me to communicate with the world. I rushed back up the stairs to try and catch the bus ... there it was , The big red bus driving off into the distance. Gone. Thanks to my amazing tour organiser she phoned the bus company straight away who took down my school address and promised that they would have it posted during the week. Now coming from South Africa , a country where cellphones are not returned if they go missing but are rather disected of all its parts and sold on the black market , I wasnt extremely hopeful that my phone would be returned to .

Tuesday afternoon and my co teacher walks in with a box .... I kid you not , not even two days later and there it was my Samsung S2 wrapped up in bubble wrap in a giant box and all in one piece . I really thought I would never see my phone again.

If there is one thing that I have learnt about being in this country its that Soko is efficient , quick , reliable and trustworthy. Despite the many things that get on my nerves about this country South Korean people win hands down for their kindness and helpfulness. The bus driver didnt have to return my phone to me. He could have sold it and made some extra cash won but he didnt and for that I will always be eternally grateful. As for the Korean postal system,its in a le of its own. Posting cellphones across cities is not something that one could do in South Africa. Its the small situations like this that make me realise why this country is so great.

Chuseok. Give thanks and jol jeju

Today officially marks the first day of  Chuseok . A Traditional Korean holiday that celebrates the many blessings in our lives as well as  Honoring our ancestors who have gone before us. I suppose one could compare this holiday to  Christmas and  thanks giving . 

Yesterday marked my 7months in korea and indeed I have so much to be thankful for.  Its been one amazing rollercoaster ride from the day we touched down at Incheon airport.  So often we get so caught up in life that we forget to just take a moment and think about how blessed we are.  So today i am taking the time to think about all the many blessings in my life. 

As my real family are thousands of kilometres away I shall be spending this very special holiday with my friends who have become my family in Korea.  Although we have all had our moments i am incredibly blessed to have them in my life . Adjusting to Korean life has only been an easy transisition due to the support system that we have created. As for my dear friends back home , today I am saying prayers of thanks to have been blessed with such incredible friends from such an early age. Some of you have known me since birth some of you i only met a few years ago althought it feels like I have known u a lifetime and then there are those of you that i only get to see once every few years but when i do see you its as if we have Never been apart.

Despite the fact that I am on another continent and have been gone for 7 months the constant enouragement  , support and love that you all give me is truly remarkable  and you will never quiet know how much that means to means. My family . My amazing family that loves me unconditionally and that has supported me and guided me through every choice i have made. My parents who have sacrificed so much to give me a life that they never had. My sisters who will always be my best friends despite the fights over clothes and shoes. My aunties , uncles and cousins who are so much more than that to me .They are my second set of parents and my extra set of sibling and lastly my grandmas. Both so different but have both been.invaluable to me in my life.  To my grandpas that are no longer with us today is a day in Korea where we honour you.

I didnt know much about Chuseok and the meaning behind it up until a couple of weeks ago. But today as im writing this post at the ferry port I  see  hundreds of families embracing each other and  giving one another   mountains of gifts as a symbol of  Celebration and love.  I shall be spending  this special holiday on Jeju island  a piece of paradise on earth. An island full of mystical  volcanos ,   caves that need to be explored and beaches that one only imagines in a  hollywood movie. I am now feeling awfully sea sick on this ferry and think its probably time for some fresh sea air . So here's to family and friends and celebrating them Chuseok style !!!

Needles and eyepatches

Sunday the 15th September 2013 . This will be one of those days that I will always remember in Korea and an experience that I feel is worth documenting. On Sunday morning I woke up to find that my left eye had completely changed shape and resembled something similar to the shape of an Asian eye . Now I have always thought that  Asian eyes are beautiful and have often wondered if I should go under the knife to get my own pair. However that was not going to happen on Sunday. What was about to happen was something far more scary than embarking on a plastic surgery advenutre. Feeling anxious about the state of my eye I attempted to phone some hospitals in the area only to discover that Sunday happens to be the only day of rest for Koreans. So places that we regard as highly imporant and expect to be open on a Sunday are infact closed the same goes for pharmacies. Great start to the day. Some friends suggested that I go to Dongguk University hospital as that is one of the few hospitals that are open 24 hours a day. Feeling extremely embarrased about my eye I put my sunglasses on acted as cool as I possibly could and went off to the hospital.

Now for those of you who dont know me . Hospitals and I have never had a good relationship. I hate them at the best of times , so when I arrived at the hospital and was sent to the emergency room and was greeted by people on drips and saw babies with broken limbs that was it , that was me gone. Being brave was not gonna happen and the tears started flowing. I already stuck out like a sore thumb being the only waygook in the place with a bulging retarded eye , so bringing on the waterworks did not help my cause. Evetually a very nice Doctor came over and escorted me to another area of the hospital . It was dead quiet , no one was around . I suddenly felt like I had been transported into some sick twisted hospital horror movie.


Eventually we got to a room and I was introduced to another doctor . An eye specialist. I suddenly felt far more relieved and relaxed .. pfft little did I realise that 10 minutes later this dude would be practically disecting my eyeball. Trying his best to speak englissh he informed me that I had a stye and that there were two options. I could leave it and let it heal in its own time or he could do a small procedure which would remove the infection straight away. Taking into account that I would be embarking on my 5 day island adventure to Jeju on Wednesday ( a holiday that I have been looking forward to all year I might add ) and that I would not want to deal with a manky eye I told the doc to do the procedure. We moved into his operation room that was full of sharp metal instruments and needles. I suddenly was overcome with fear. It suddenly hit me that I was placing my trust and my precious poo brown eye in the hands of a doctor that I did not know and that could barely speak english. All that came to mind was the movie SAW. That horrific horror movie that is all about having body parts removed. Yes perhaps I was being a bit dramatic but when you are on your own with no one by your side for support in a foreign country in a foreign hospital one can only assume the worst. He placed a giant sheet over my face which had two small holes for my eyes. Great now I really had no control of the situation . My palms started sweating , my legs were shaking and I couldnt stop crying. And then the best part arrived . " I shall stick a needle in your eyelid to reduce the pain" Well feck theres an oxymoron and a half. Yes lets stick needles in my eyes because that will obviously not be painful. If there was ever a time I needed to hold someones hand .. this would have been it . " I will have to give you two more injections just to be safe " Great ... yes you carry on sticking needles in my eyes whilst I just die here slowly. Totes chilled. After a sum total of three injections in my eye I heard the clattering of the instruments above my eye. I was unable to feel anything though due to the local anesthetic .... and no this did not make it any better because I felt like I had no control over my body a very frightening situation for any control freak to be in.

 After 30 minutes of  needles and instruments in my eye it was over... thank God. I looked in the mirror. One giant brown patch over my left eye."Great " as if I dont get enough stares in this dam country with my vampire white skin and red hair already I would now have an added feature on display for the whole of Gyeongju to enjoy. I attempted to use my sunglasses to cover up the patch... but when you live in a society where image is everything and you are constantly being checked out by everyone sunglesses do very little to help the situtaion. I went downstairs to pay , not expecting to pay much as I have been told Korean medical is very cheap ..... cheap when you in a normal hospital during the week maybe ... but on a Sunday .... oh no .... 68 000 won later and what did I get for that price .. a bruised , bulging buggered up eye ! On went the waterworks again. I went over to the pharmacy to collect the perscribed eye drops and creams that the doctor has suggested. Once again the language barrier got in the way and I had no clue what the lady was on about . I was so over everything at this point I took the stuff got in a cab and went home and tried to process what had just happened. I have never felt so alone and hopeless in my life.


Yesterday taught me two things about myself and life.

Although the procedure was really scary and painful I think it was more the fact that I was alone and that I had no one there telling me it would be ok. I realised that this is how life is. We so often expect people to be there for us in times of trouble but the bottom line is that we are alone in this world and we are going to be faced with so many situations in our lives where we will have to deal with things on our own. Family are one of the few things we can really rely on in this life and some people dont even have that luxury. Just being able to speak to my family yesterday made all the difference .

Walking around with only being able to use one eye got me thinking about the challenges that blind people have to face on a daily basis. Here was I complaining and bitching because I looked like a freak and felt uncomfortable whilst millions of people around the world at that very same moment were struggling with a life challenge of having no vision at all. Then I thought about the movie slumdog millonaire and that utterly heart breaking scene where the childrens eyes are taken out . A very real thing that happens all the time in India. Shivers ran down my body just thinking about what those children have to endure. Imagine never seeing your beautiful city again , the smile on a friends face , a sunrise , a sunset .... thinking about all of this made me realise how pathetic I was being. Yes I was in a lot of pain , felt terrible and had an eye that looked gross but it was all temporary and within a few days it will hopefully heal.

So im not going to feel sorry for myself any more because I have two eyes that can see.. even if the one isn't looking as sexy as it usally does I can see and that is something that I will never take for granted again. On Wednedsay morning I will leave for Jeju Island with my friends for five days of fun. I have accepted that my eye will probably not be back to normal but I will be able to see this piece of paradise and that in itself is a blessing. <3

Some advice for anyone who may be faced with a similar problem in the future.

* If you have a stye or eye infection use warm water and a cloth or even better tea bags. Place over your eyes for 10 minutes about 3 times a day to relive swelling and bruising. If it continues go to a Doctor

* Most hospitals are closed on a sunday in Korea. If you are in Gyeongju Dongguk Hospital emergency room is open but be prepared to dish out a lot of won.

*Take someone with you to the hospital . Preferably someone who speaks Korean otherwise just anyone who you feel will be a support for you.